When I found out I was pregnant of my second child, my first thought was how my four-year old son will take in the big lifetime event. You see, my son grew up very close to me. The arrival of a new darling in the house would surely shatter him. Or so, I thought. Surprisingly, my little boy welcomed his baby sister and loved her so much. Sibling rivalry? Nah... They're as close as hands and feet. How did I do it? Well, here are some of the tips I can share with you.During Pregnancy
- I spent a lot of time with my older child. We read books together before bedtime. I would tell him story of how he was as a baby. I would also tell him that a baby sister will not make him less loved.
- Aside from telling stories, we would go over his baby pictures and recall how he came out of my tummy. A child this age asks a lot of question. It is important to give him answers that would satisfy his curiosity and would not paint bad picture about a new sibling.
- I delegated simple tasks, like picking up his toys after playing, or fetching slippers when I arrived from work. This way, he started to take responsibility and obedience. He also learned to believe in himself and assert his maturity, however young he may be.
- I asked relatives to help build positive images of having a new sibling. I strictly refrain them from telling my child that his new baby sister will only occupy our attention. The last thing I wanted was a misinformed, jealous preschooler.
After Childbirth and Adjusting at Home
- After giving birth, the first person I looked for was my son. I wanted him to be there when we meet his baby sister. To my surprise, he was very excited to meet her!
- I was patient with my older child's adjustment. We gave him time to absorb all the excitement and make sure he is part of the big event in the family. My son couldn't contain his happiness with his new sister. He even announced it at school and how proud he was a "kuya".
- While a baby needs all our attention, we gave enough attention to our older child. We needed to put in more effort to understand him as he may feel being left out.
- We have encouraged him to express his feelings as some of his actions may indicate his frustrations. Above all else, I payed special attention to his body language. We have a one-on-one talk more often as this may encourage his behavior toward his baby sibling.
- We allowed him to help with caring for the baby. For a toddler, he may do simple chores like getting the towels or baby powder. We constantly reminded him how we took care of him when he was also a baby.
- Lastly, we include him into play. He would make his baby sister laugh. My daughter now looks forward to his older brother's funny faces and crazy, energetic antics.
Yes, my little boy and baby girl are growing up. They are close to each other. Someday, he will be her knight in shining armour, the brother, the protector.
